so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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