i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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