Four minutes until I can fart!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
