Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
