every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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