Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
