Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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