Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
