I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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