did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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