HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
