Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
