Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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