how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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