well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
