My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
