found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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