I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
