I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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