I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
