Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
