All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
third nipple confirmed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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