Do you still have your period?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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