can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize