I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
