Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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