Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
