If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
