he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
