i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
