Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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