do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
