He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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