very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
