We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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