2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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