so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
