You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
