FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize