dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize