I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
