Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
