When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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