it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
