she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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