K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
