hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i love accidental penises.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
