at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
