Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
