Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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