There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
