ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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