That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
