also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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