I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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