I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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