I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
