oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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