Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
