dude i'm inner monologue high
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
