i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
