At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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