I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
