When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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