You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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