the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want nice things and good sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
