I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
