I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
