So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
